A couple of weeks ago, in response to a post I published on my blog, Drew Meyers asked me if I would consider writing an article on the value of social networking. I played the “I’m really busy” card and bought myself a little time. I desperately needed that time to fully consider what the heck I could possibly add to the conversation.

Here is my predicament. I am the wrong person to ask. I am probably the worst “social networker” to come along since the advent of the Tupperware Party, and certainly the lamest since Al Gore invented the Internet. I am not a coffee klatch girl by nature. Don’t get me wrong – I am not entirely anti-social; I just tend to gravitate towards activities with a clear purpose. I do not particularly enjoy making small talk for the sake of noise, and while I am human in that acceptance is satisfying and recognition is food for ego, I don’t have a sense that my validation is dependent on admittance into the inner circle of any common interest group, although being left out can feel kind of crummy.

So why talk about social networking at all? Because humans are social beings. We are inherently so because our entire survival depends upon it, depends on our ability to interact, cooperate, and coexist. Alone, we may discover how to make fire with a couple of the sticks in our caves, but together we may learn that combining our kindling produces a bigger flame. And then there is always some guy who introduces us to flint, and then the Bic lighter, which makes our lives warmer and our caves brighter.

Then there is our need to socialize for acceptance. Positive reinforcement supports and sustains our sense of purpose, worth and, yes, ego. Common interest groups provide an environment where members can be nurtured and validated, and group acceptance is essential to our happiness and completeness as individuals, whether it be through family, friends or business.

Blogging is no different, but first it is important to remember the purpose. We all arguably began blogging as a way to enhance, promote and further our business, whatever that business is. Mine is representing people in the residential real estate transaction. As such, my goal is to earn the respect, the trust, and ultimately the business of people wanting representation in the sale or purchase of homes. My blog is my online resume and it is written for them alone, but I can not do it alone. And this is where I see the true value of the social network.

• The interactive nature. Comments and links feed our blogs. “Inter-” active, as in between, shared by, among, and reciprocal, is what differentiates a blog from a static online billboard website. Without comments, my blog is a big-fat succession of Dear Diary entries or, worse yet, of lecture notes. Yet, how many times have you read a magazine or newspaper article and actually submitted your letter to the editor? How often have you wanted to be the first one to hit the dance floor at the party? The blogging social network plays the important supporting role, a role involving getting and keeping the conversation going. The people I have met online have been critical to my success (as measured by the five “unique” daily visitors I now boast), and as a member of this society, it is my duty as a business friend to return the favor.
• Celebrity endorsement. Credibility. It can be demonstrated through thoughtful writing, certainly, but do not underestimate the value to the customer you are courting of the popularity of your site with other agents and industry professionals. It is one thing to say “I put all of my home listings on Zillow.” It is quite another for the customer to see Drew or David from Zillow taking the time to talk online with you, or for that customer to see that you were invited into their home for a visit (Note of the obvious: Sure, they are trying to sell something, but then so am I.) Similarly, how many of us have espoused to our clients the advantages of our “agent network”? When we take the time to connect and converse online, we are giving proof that this network exists and, in the quality of our exchange, are demonstrating the value versus simply giving it lip service.
• To better serve you. Social networks allow for meetings of the minds, and no two minds are alike. There are as many tools for and approaches to the business of real estate as there are colors of M&Ms. As I previously wrote:

If you see blogging as purely a lead generation tool, then you will argue that a blog which attracts a large number of industry eyes and involves primarily discussion among agents is a self-absorbed waste of time. On the contrary, this is modern day networking at its finest. We share our unique philosophies, systems, business approaches, and our experiences. My knowledge base has become infinitely broader as a result of this shop talk, and consumers following the conversation not only learn along with me but gain insight into my qualifications and commitment to my work. They are not leads; they are potential employers, and this is my resume.

• Meeting new people. Yes, it is nice to be liked. It is nice to be respected among your peers. It is always a pleasure to expand your list of business “friends” (read: like-minded professionals), and the resulting sense of camaraderie can be inspiring and motivating. Expanding your social reach can be also be satisfying as you are casting a wider net of acceptance, but if personal enjoyment and validation at the hands of others was the only purpose, we would all be better off joining our local Wednesday night Bunko group.

All of this should be intuitively obvious, and yet I am seeing that too many, somewhere along the way, who have confused their platform with the office water cooler, only this lunch room is bugged. As anyone who has opened their feedreader this week can attest, I am certainly not the first person to express this opinion, but I believe it bears repeating. As a blogging agent, the people you are trying to reach are the people you are least likely to “see.” We all might benefit from viewing our blogs as a forum for telling secrets over the intercom. Yours is a “site for agents,” you say? Unfortunately, no one is checking cards at the door, and you never know who might be crashing your party.

It is all too natural, I suppose, for any group to develop a organizational flowchart, a pecking order, over time. In my blogging world, this is painfully obvious. Some take on leadership roles, others struggle to achieve the coveted position of authority and distinction, while others align behind their perceived power centers in an attempt to achieve class ranking and therefore validation by association. I have seen our supportive and sustaining environment degrade into a name-calling, competitive world in which we attempt to measure our success by the failure of others. We are in danger of becoming a big, dysfunctional family fighting over the last helping of gravy at the family feast.

The conversations I have seen taking place recently would never, ever take place at the dinner table among kin, at the Bridge Club among friends, or at the office among colleagues. We all have a crazy uncle, or neighbor or coworker whom we don’t particularly love “biggest”. But, to function as a society, there are rules of decorum, courtesy and respect which need to be observed. Otherwise, we are a bunch of flailing arms on one obese body feeding only ourselves and accomplishing nothing but self-serving, instant gratification in the process.

So, what is the value of my social network? By investing in blogging, business development and betterment has been both my goal and my reward. I have made friends along the way, each of whom I value, and this has brought me personal satisfaction as well, but this is just a handsome dividend.