I always hear people telling agents that “building their sphere” is the most important thing they can do for their business. I certainly agree and often tell agents the same thing myself. Particularly for those in the real estate business, the amount of money you make is often directly related to how large your network or sphere is. But the methods many real estate professionals are using to build their sphere just don’t make any sense, particularly their social media efforts. Social media does not abide by the same rules as traditional marketing; you can’t just blast your message to as many people as possible and expect to succeed. This blog post actually started as a Tweet when I vented about yet another person I don’t know trying to friend me on Facebook:

honestly, if friending someone on FB or adding them to Linkedin and they don’t know you…LEAVE a personal message or else get ignored #fail

That conversation continued on with a few Tweets back and forth with Linsey Planeta and Amanda Wernick. And now I’m turning the conversation into a blog post because, as I told Linsey, no concept is too simple to repeat. And particularly one as important as sphere building. I think we all know that building a larger sphere comes down to forming relationships with as many people as possible. Relationship building is one of those concepts that seems like common sense to me, yet many still do not understand proper etiquette when it comes to building relationships online — at least in my opinion they don’t. The message I wanted to repeat is pretty much exactly what Linsey Tweeted yesterday:

@drewmeyers @funomenalrealtr W/ all the social media hype, people have forgotten same rules apply as always- trust is built by relationships

Business is not likely to come from having a “friend” on Facebook who you’ve never exchanged a word with. Nor will it come from a connection on Linkedin who doesn’t know the first thing about you. Business is likely to come from real people who you genuinely know and TRUST. Do you think I’ll send you business if I don’t know a single thing about you? Think again, because I can tell you right now that won’t happen – so please stop friending random people (and me) on Facebook unless you are going to take the time to build a REAL relationship (read this post for more background on my thoughts on this topic). I’m not opposed to meeting and engaging with more people, far from it actually — but show me you care enough to build a real relationship.

To recap, I’ll repeat the core message again. When it comes to relationship building, the same rules apply that have always applied — trust is built by forming relationships with real substance. Those are the relationships that are likely to result in business for you down the line; the ones built on trust and providing value to the other person. Build trust and you’ll increase your sphere.

Note: My next post will explain my personal approach to sphere and relationship building. I was originally going to make this one post, but it was getting way too long so I’ll split it in two in the hopes that I don’t lose everyone with a massive essay. Look for part 2 soon (I’m actually almost done with that post now).